slut sham·ing
noun
  1. the action or fact of stigmatizing a woman for engaging in behavior judged to be promiscuous or sexually provocative.

“My pussy feel like a lake; He wanna swim with his face.” -from “Bodak Yellow”, by Cardi B

“I think sometimes girls get intimidated by [oral sex] because they don’t really know what to do, or they haven’t figured out how to enjoy it, and so it becomes a chore.” -Amber Rose

“If you don’t encourage healthy sexual expression in public, you get unhealthy sexual expression in private. If you attempt to suppress sex in books, magazines, movies and even everyday conversation, you aren’t helping to make sex more private, just more hidden. You’re keeping sex in the dark. What we’ve tried to do is turn on the lights.” – Hugh Hefner

“”I can be your dominatrix, just submit to my every order. Enter my diamond matrix, if you want my golden flower” -from “Cockiness (Love It)”, by Rihanna

Just this morning, the Twitterverse became all a flurry with RIP’s and comments about the passing of 91-year-old Playboy icon, Hugh Hefner. Hef, known for the widely popular Playboy Magazine, has made selling sex his business since 1953, and business was good. If you scroll through any social media feed, you can see examples of people praising Hefner for his sex positive stance, as well as making a few jokes here and there:

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But why is Hefner bestowed with such praise, when he didn’t actually do anything, other than encourage women to be sex kittens, for the benefit of men? He didn’t do it so women could be more powerful, although many women did take advantage of that avenue in order to show their own sex positivity. He did it to make money. He did it for the eyes of men. Much like almost everything else in our society, he profited off of men having a desire to fix their gaze upon, and fantasize about, beautiful women. So what’s wrong with that, right? It’s sex positivity, right?

Well, sure, it might be, but the problem isn’t Hef; the problem is that the same people praising Hefner for being so open and free about sex are slut-shaming tons of female celebrities, in particular, black women, for having the audacity to not only enjoy sex, but refuse to be ashamed for it.

Amber Rose, Cardi B, Rihanna, Ciara: they all have something in common. They’ve been very open about being sexual beings, and they’ve also all been very publicly and very widely criticized for doing so.

Rihanna is not girlfriend material, am I wrong? Rihanna is the kind of girl, you know she’s hot, she’s sexy, you do her…and then you take your penicillin.” -Wendy Williams

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This screams of the Madonna-whore complex, which, boiled down, represents the phenomenon that men want a “freak”, a very sexually experienced woman, but she must also be virginesque. The logic in wanting a virgin that fucks like a porn star is absolutely ridiculous, yet we continue to push this narration on women, particularly women of color. Even women have internalized this dangerous, misogynist concept so deeply that we are often the biggest offenders, slut-shaming women. Hell, we even shamed Ciara and husband Russell Wilson, Seattle Seahawks QB, because Russell married her, even though she had a child by a previous man, rap artist Future, and again for getting pregnant with Wilson’s child.

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I’m thinking men are just mad that we have the pussies, and let’s be honest, pussies are fucking amazing.

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Posted by:amazinglydisgraced

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